Today I had the opportunity to spend the evening with one of my mom’s good friends. She and her husband have been kind enough to house me for a good portion of the week while I am in Washington DC in preparation for my departure to India. I always enjoy these times to interact with my mom’s closest friends because they remind me of the benefits of investing in worthwhile friendships and that I am, without a doubt, turning into my mother.
The two of us had seen each other recently at my sister’s wedding but had barely spoken to one another amidst all the chaos of the weekend. It was nice to enjoy a nice Italian meal and some wine in downtown Bethesda on a Saturday evening. As we were swapping stories and updates on life, she shared with me a fun story about my mom when she was pregnant with me.
For starters, I apparently was a challenge even before I was born. My mom will deny such a statement, but the truth of the matter is she was sick for most of her pregnancy with me and it was a difficult nine months (sorry about that, Mom). Her friend told me that after my mom had attended a conference for work in Florida she was going to fly up to Washington DC on Veterans Day weekend to visit her for the long, holiday weekend. The capitol had been pleasant that whole week, so my mom had been informed that she wouldn’t need to pack heavy clothing.
However, as my mom was in route from Florida to DC, mother nature decided to take its course. As her friend watched a blizzard slowly build its way up to her house, she realized her little car would not withstand the turbulent weather nor be safe for my uncomfortable mother. Now, this was November 1987 – there were no cell phones for her to be constantly texting my mom before she got on the plane nor Facebook updates from the airport for my mom to know the exact conditions before her departure. My mom’s friend had only a few precious hours to frantically call every rental car and hotel in the area near the airport only to be turned away, saying they could not withstand the snow or they were filled for the night.
Becoming desperate, she called a limo service that was operated out of the owner’s home. The driver’s wife answered the phone and upon hearing my mom’s friend’s frantic pleas to help her heavily pregnant friend arriving in an hour, she called her husband in from shoveling snow to figure out a solution. The driver assured my mom’s friend my mom would be looked after and he would have her at the house safely. Later they found out the driver and his wife had four children of their own and when the started the limo renting company, they offered free drives from hospital to home for mothers and their newborns (some things really do not seem coincidental).
When my mom arrived in DC, she headed toward the line snaking around the baggage claim area for the pay phones, hoping to reach her friend. With a specific description of my pregnant mother’s characteristics, the driver approached her and told her he had a limo waiting for her outside and her friend had arranged everything. My mom had not packed for a blizzard, so he had made sure to have the heat blasting when she sat down and had water and snacks for her. The limo came with a phone so she was able to eventually call her friend while comfortably sitting down and not waiting for an hour in line.
What I love about this story is how my mom’s friend never stopped until she had figured out how to safely and comfortably get my mom to her house. There was never a hesitation that she was going to do whatever she could for her friend. This is only an illustration of what this friend has been for my mom over their many years of friendship. She has laughed, cried, comforted and advised my mom through every chapter of their lives and mom has reciprocated to the best of her abilities.
My housemate, Brie, and I were having a conversation about true friendship last week. She summarized our thoughts simply and eloquently –“being a true, good friend takes a lot of work, but when it happens, it’s worth it.”
Friendships are a sacrifice: you are allowing yourself to become a more vulnerable person when you invest so many emotions and trust with another person. Sometimes friendships can lead to betrayal or disappointment; a risk that had to be taken to truly invest in a person’s life. Other times you have to live with the realization that those friends who love you the most are the ones who expect the most out of you, causing them to be hurt even more by poor decisions you take in your life.
But between the heart ache and tough love, the gut-wrenching laughter and countless DIY face mask days, an indescribable bound is created that can never be severed. The kind that will call you at any hour of the day to make sure you are okay. The kind that will wake up at 3am to drive you to the airport. Or the kind that will never stop until you have the nicest ride in town through the craziest of blizzards.
Photo credit: darlingmagazine.org
this is so true. i miss convos with you, sarah! have such a life-changing time in india!!